Satire – the Southerner Online

Ominous E300 staircase unnerves fearful freshmen

Tyler Jones, Layout Associate Managing Editor and A&E Associate Managing Editor

May 24, 2019

Filed under Comment, Front Slideshow, Satire

Grady proposed a new schedule for the 2019-20 school year that has sent massive shockwaves through the school’s population. The proposed schedule adjustmen...

‘It’s not you, it’s me:’ a Breakup Letter to Colleges

May 8, 2019

aura When I first saw you in my inbox, I thought we were meant to be. We met through the College Board Student Search Service™ one cool November afternoon, an...

Grady’s outback: the dirt lot

February 15, 2019

It is 8 a.m. in Grady’s unpaved student parking area. Drivers begin pulling in to the dusty gates of the dirt lot, awaiting the 8:30 a.m. bell to welcome t...

Popularity of class rings creates chaotic environment for students

December 10, 2018

Satire An ocean of students flooded the E100 hallway outside the library. They buzzed with excitement as they waited in line to get sized. Students trying to ...

Minecraft ushers game-based learning to classrooms

December 5, 2018

Satire Schools across the district are beginning to integrate an unconventional resource into their daily curriculums: Minecraft. The 2009-era Mojang v...

Under Armour brand sponsors APS athletic teams

Abby Peters, Comment Section Editor

November 1, 2018

Filed under Comment, Front Slideshow, Satire

Satire The cheerleaders’ cheeks blushed from embarrassment as the opposing team laughed at them. They tried to pull their shirts down, but the bagg...

Conservative TV ads ‘round up’ Kemp supporters

October 23, 2018

Satire Nothing is more moving than watching your favorite politicians in action on television in the newest form of information distribution: the theat...

Freshman wins over public in Georgia governor’s race

Royce Mann, Writer

August 27, 2018

Filed under Satire

Satire Former Georgia House Minority Leader Stacey Abrams has received a lot of attention in her historic bid for Governor, but there is another candidate...

Review of the highs and lows of Grady’s bathrooms

Jack Hudson

May 6, 2018

Filed under Humor, Satire

So much has changed in my four years at this school: A new principal, teachers coming and going, friends made, friends lost; it’s hardly the same place a...

School plans to build statue of Cookout milkshake

Lauren Van Atta and Lauren Van Atta

April 13, 2018

Filed under Satire

Satire Plans were announced last week to construct a new statue on the main Grady lawn on Charles Allen Drive. It came to the attention of the school administration that the grove has become somewhat of an eyesore for all pedestrians, with just the well-known pencil statue standing by its lonesome. Many ideas circulated, and after many sleepless nights and several focus groups, the st...

Presidential nominee turned fugitive

The Southerner

January 23, 2017

Filed under Satire

By Jack Hudson Satire For the next eight years, the man we all know and love, who won our hearts during the election, will be banning all muslims from this land, carrying out mass deportations of illegal immigrants and building a great wall along our southern border (It’s looking more like a big fence nowadays, but nonetheless, still effective). Most importantly, h...

Exchange of power, just a picnic

The Southerner

November 17, 2016

Filed under Satire

By Jack Hudson Satire Reporting from the White House Lawn... As all the great Presidents have done in the past, President Barack Obama hosted the President vs President Elect Family Picnic this past weekend. For those who are unfamiliar with the tradition, every time a new President is elected into office, the current one hosts a family picnic on the White House lawn....