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Review of the highs and lows of Grady’s bathrooms

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Illustration by Ellen Winer

Illustration by Ellen Winer

Illustration by Ellen Winer

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So much has changed in my four years at this school: A new principal, teachers coming and going, friends made, friends lost; it’s hardly the same place as it was my freshman year. Throughout all the change, one force has remained persistent in my time spent here: the need to expel waste from my body on any given school day. And with that comes a choice. A choice as to which restroom I will use. So I present to you my review of the Grady restrooms.

A disclaimer to all those who use the bathrooms geared toward females: all of the reviews in this article will be of the male restrooms, as it would be a felony for me to attempt to gain an opinion on the other half of the facilities.

This school has 14 bathrooms. Each one a unique world with its own ecosystem, often expanding into the hallways surrounding it. All of the latrines have their own redeeming qualities about them. However, some are far better than others. As much as I would like to say that all the bathrooms at this school were created equal, they were not. So it is your duty, pun intended, to choose the lavatory that best  suits your needs.

Perhaps my least favorite bathroom in this school would be the one on the C200 hall.  It is one of the larger restrooms in this school, with five stalls, three urinals and two sinks. It retains the most foot traffic due to its close proximity to classes and its central location in the school. And when it comes to using the restroom, privacy is a deciding factor for most of us. No one enjoys having their stall door rattled or people peering through the cracks.

Another powder room I am not a fan of is on the third floor. Much like the C200 one, it is very busy. However, it’s not nearly as big, so, there is much more wear and tear on the commodes. And half of the time, there’s a plastic bag over one of the toilets, so, options are limited. Despite the downsides of these two water closets, they have large windows that are easily opened for a cool breeze to whisk in.

A not so well-kept secret to the main building is the fourth-floor bathroom. It doesn’t have nearly as many people coming and going from it as the others do, perhaps because of the climb to get to it. But many have become aware of its solitude, making it lose some of its zeal. Still, if you are in a bind, it’s a quick escape from the hustle and bustle of the main floors.

If you have ever had a class in the Old Gym, then you know about the gems you can find underneath those hardwood floors. The only time the bathrooms near the yoga room are ever used is when a class is in session, leading to the perfect combination of solitude and cleanliness. The only trouble is getting access to it. That building is kept under lock and key, probably to preserve the man-made wonders it holds. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve braved the cold weather banking on the off chance that the doors will be open, only to have my hopes crushed. It’s a gamble, but the reward is unlike any other.

Another pair of loo’s I am a huge fan of are located by the theater. This school is so fond of the arts that it has saved its best facilities for its thespians and musicians. Most students do not have classes down there, so it’s quite a trek to get to it. But if you’re willing to make the journey, these are by far the best in the school. The theatre lobby bathroom is like a ghost town. It’s almost as if you are in the privacy of your own home. However, it is often locked during the school day. So if you make the trek and find it is locked, your best option is to use the music hall restrooms. A slight downgrade, but still better than the main building.

This school is hit or miss on bathroom quality. Once you’ve made a few bad decisions, you may put more thought into where you do the do. Hopefully my extensive research into the topic will help prevent future unpleasant situations.

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