My experience with coronavirus death
April 28, 2020
As we pulled out of the driveway of my grandparents’ home in Virginia after celebrating Christmas last December, I never would have imagined it would be the last time I’d see my grandfather.
On April 6, we discovered that my grandfather had tested positive for coronavirus. He had been sick and self-quarantining since March. The next day, when he began to have trouble breathing, my grandmother dropped him off at the hospital, and unknowingly said goodbye forever to her husband of 55 years.
I was allowed to join the call with his palliative care doctors. They asked us what made life worth living for Michael McCullough, to which my grandmother replied, “family.” The doctors apologized that we were unable to visit him in the hospital due to the unusual circumstances. We stayed hopeful.
After 12 days in the hospital, on and off a ventilator, my grandfather died on the morning of Saturday, April 18. I had gotten to talk to him one last time the day before and reminded him how much I loved him. “I love you too, dear,” he responded, his voice hoarse and nearly unrecognizable. When my mom woke me to share the news, my heart sank. It felt like I was living in a nightmare.
We keep hearing the same rhetoric that “just old people” will die of COVID-19. Just old people? Why are we comfortable with old people dying prematurely? My grandfather may have been considered elderly at his age of 81, but his life was certainly just as valuable as anyone else’s. He was loved dearly by his wife, his brother, his three daughters and his four grandchildren. He had survived cancer twice before, but he remained an incredibly strong, capable and bright man. If he hadn’t contracted the virus by chance, he probably would have been around for at least a few more Christmases.
While my classmates do online work, I’ve been helping to write his obituary and grieving with my family over Zoom. Life is far from normal anymore, for anyone, but I send my sincere thanks to everyone doing their part by self-quarantining, no matter how tedious and lonely it may be. You are saving lives, potentially of those you love.
My intention is not to spread fear. Fear did not help me prepare for the overwhelming pain of losing my grandfather. The best you can do is stay home and call your loved ones. Tell them how much you love them and why. You really never know when it’ll be the last chance you get.
Gina Mariano-Bunch • May 1, 2020 at 1:43 pm
Hi Sophia,
I am a client of your father, whom I admire greatly. In the short time I have worked with him I have seen integrity, strength, and an amazing sense of the value of family. All traits that you are blessed to be surrounded by daily! Toward the end of our business relationship, I learned that your grandfather had taken sick and you could hear the concern even in your fathers emails.
Our family and our church body prayed for him, and for your family. When your Dad shared your essay with me, it touched me, and reminded me of the huge loss I felt when I lost my grandfather when I was about your age. It seemed unfair and it was painful and I wanted you to know that although I still think of my grandfather all of the time, and the life lessons that he taught me, the pain I felt at that time has subsided, even though at the time I never thought it would, and now I strive to make him proud everyday. I live my life in a way that I promised him I would. One of the last things he said to me was “that’s my name you are carrying around with you, please use it in the way I would expect you too.” I have no doubt that you will continue to make your grandfather and the rest of your family proud! I am sorry that your heart hurts but just remember, the bigger the hurt, the greater the love, and I’m sure neither of you would’ve wanted it any other way!
May God continue to bless you as you work through this difficult time.
Sincerely,
Gina Mariano-Bunch
Mary Stouffer • Apr 30, 2020 at 9:12 am
Great job Sophia! What a beautiful tribute to your grandfather, and the love of family.
Laura Phoenix Power • Apr 29, 2020 at 9:15 pm
Our sincere condolences to you and your family, Sophia. Thank you for sharing his story and your experience in this beautifully expressed piece.
Stay Well,
The Power/ Lowry Family