Satirical quest for the best MARTA station

Frankie Clarke

By Kassidy Kelley and Frankie Clarke

Okay. We all know I-85 sucks. I mean, why did it have to blow up? As unfortunate as this occurrence was, everyone is very thankful that no one was hurt. Well, at least not physically. Mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, people are, to put it quite frankly, “wrecked.” Fortunately for all of us, MARTA is amazing, and is going to become our saving grace during these next three to six months.

I mean, it’s called MARTA for a reason! Did you know that MARTA stands for “Magnificent, Awesome, Radical, Tubular, Awe-Inspiring.” The smell of the urban lifestyle, the squeaky wheels, the questionable characters lurking around, all combine to give us the best alternative to this series of unfortunate events (check that out on Netflix!). We did everyone a favor and pushed through the MARTA Madness — scouring the city for the very best MARTA station that we could possibly find. We present to you our quest for the best MARTA station.

Starting at the heart of the MARTA system, we ventured into Five Points, one of the artsier stations. With interesting rundown, mansion-like architecture, Five Points is a wild experience. As Times Square is the epicenter of NYC, Five Points is bursting with energy. People running to get to their trains, people walking, people sitting, people buying things from the vending machines. It’s truly an amazing experience.

Five Points also offers commodities that make the train riding experience out of this world! Throughout the station are vending machines that offer top of the line chips. The chips may have been put in there six months ago, but the staleness adds an extra level of flavor.

Next, we went to the Arts center MARTA Station. This is a good option for any underclassmen without cars who want to be able to do things in Atlanta. Located right next to the High Museum of Art, this MARTA station allows young teens to both get access to public transportation and also culture themselves with three floors worth of fine art.

When you enter this station, for the most part it looks very clean. If you go at night, it is very well lit. That means there is plenty of strong fluorescent lighting for you to see any rodents or bugs that may scamper by. We didn’t see any of those! But, if we did, we wouldn’t have killed the rodents. Because, as the Pixar movie Ratatouille showed us, rodents can be chefs! If you go to this station, you’ll have fun.

Lastly, on our fun trip to paradise, we have the Inman Park/Reynoldstown station. This station allows all to journey into Little Five Points, Target, and ROSS! The dirty brick aesthetic is enough for any person to feel warm and comfy as they’re waiting for their train that was supposed to show up five minutes ago. With vending machines also accommodating this station, Inman Park/Reynoldstown is the definition of a mediocre MARTA experience.  As the hissing of the wheels gets closer to you, you can’t help but feel slightly uncomfortable and excited for the ride ahead.

Luckily for all of you, none of you have to go through the MARTA Madness that we went through. Just stick to these three stations, and you’ll make it in the city.