BY CARSON SHADWELL

As the holidays approach, family members often inform each other of the gifts they hope to receive. Keeping with this tradition, I wrote a letter on behalf of the student body to the school administration, detailing some holiday requests: 

Dear Administration,

We have been good this year, diligently completing our SLO assessments with hardly a complaint and speedily evacuating during fire drills. Maybe things got a little out of hand with the fights, but for the most part, we’ve been obedient.

We hope our satisfactory behavior will be enough to earn us a reward for this coming year.

1. We would like to request that the bathrooms be regularly stocked with necessities. I remember the excitement we all felt when the noisy, unreliable hand dryers were replaced with paper towel dispensers. Now, however, the towels are depleted and damp hands are too often dried on pant legs or jackets.

2. It would be nice if the clocks in the hallway displayed the correct time. The condition of these clocks has deteriorated this year, with some stopped completely and others operating at a comical warp speed. In order to make sure we arrive in class on time without referring to the clocks on our forbidden electronic devices, we ask that the hallway clocks be repaired.

3. It seems the rodent problem at the school, although seemingly improved from last year, still persists. It is not uncommon for students to see the occasional mouse scurry past their feet, not to mention the sporadic appearance of a terrified and disoriented squirrel. I know it is a problem unlikely to be eliminated, but we’d appreciate an effort to keep our mischievous furry friends at bay.

4. We would appreciate some peace and quiet during lunch and breakfast time. I understand announcements and directions are sometimes necessary, but the constant sound of the microphone within the first 15 minutes of school fails to speed up our commute to class and instead succeeds in giving us an early morning headache and a cantankerous attitude. This also applies to lunch in the cafeteria where we are often loudly reminded not to stand up or move about. I recognize the need for order, but we are hardly causing a riot when we walk around the room to speak with friends.

5. It would be nice if a more substantial pathway were installed from the Charles Allen building down the hill to the courtyard and toward the instructional suites. I know we aren’t supposed to walk that way, but we will continue to do it anyway for the sake of convenience. In light of this reality, it would be great to have an established pathway. I know this is a substantial request, but perhaps it could be gratified before the next school year.

We appreciate all the work you’ve done on our behalf this year and understand all of you are very busy, but hopefully one of our holiday wishes can be granted. Thanks for your consideration.

Happy Holidays,

The Grady Student Body