Ukrainian-Russian student shares personal opinion on conflict
Protestors gather in Washington Square Park in New York City to protest Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. The woman’s sign reads “Glory to Ukraine. Glory to our heroes.”
March 9, 2022
The first time I heard that my homeland was being invaded was not the dramatic moment you might imagine. I was rushing late to my first period and opened my phone to see a post of a Ukrainian flag. My initial reaction was confusion until I saw a comment that said, “Russia just started invading Ukraine.”
As someone with family from both Ukraine and Russia, I’ve been aware of conflict between the countries since I was little. I remember being in elementary school when Crimea was invaded and being a sophomore when I went to Kyiv for the first time. I remember having to fly through Belarus to go from Russia to Ukraine because of their strained relationship.
As an adoptee born in St. Petersburg, Russia with a biological mother from Ukraine, I couldn’t help but feel conflicted between my connection to both countries. The confusion of war, added with a lack of ability to communicate with my relatives in Eastern Europe, made my mind race with a million questions. Were my relatives forced to flee to Poland or Romania, like hundreds of thousands of other Ukrainians?
My initial reaction was denial. I knew my two countries had tension and I knew there were soldiers building up on the border, but I never expected there to be a full scale invasion. I soon realized how misguided my wishful thinking had been. I felt glued to social media as I watched videos of bombs raining down on Ukraine. These videos triggered uneasy feelings, but I felt that I’d be doing something wrong as a Ukrainian if I ignored them.
At first, I tried my best to hide how I felt. However, seeing the region of Ivano-Frankivsk, where both my adoptive and biological families have roots, bombed struck a very personal cord. I felt my eyes water and my body shake as I repeatedly watched the video of the missile flying down and causing a massive fire.
I wish I could say that this made me stand up strong and tall and become resilient, but the reality was the opposite. Seeing videos of Ukraine being bombed made it almost impossible for me to focus on school.
I felt like I was in a hole that was impossible to get out of. I couldn’t do anything to actually help Ukraine, and I had no idea how to reach out for help from teachers. I’d never heard of someone saying “Sorry I didn’t do my homework. My family in another country is going through a war right now and it’s really stressing me out.” My own anxiety made me scared that I wouldn’t be taken seriously.
I am unsure of what the future holds for Eastern Europe, but I hope it is one where Ukrainians, Russians and people of all nations can live in a world without wars.
Vita Zeltser • Mar 11, 2022 at 12:11 pm
Dear Will,
Thank you for your beautiful and touching article, and for sharing with others how people with a personal connection to Ukraine are feeling now. This catastrophe has become all-consuming for those with Ukrainian roots, like my family and me. One vital way in which we can make a positive difference in a world that’s seemingly gone mad is by spreading awareness about the war and its implications. Thank you for doing so with your wonderful writing.